I shamelessly took this post from the board I usually post on.
Some might find it a bit humourous, a bit cruel and a bit cosmic jokish but my father just passed away about a hour and half ago. Well within the day that I was born. I suppose I should be grateful to a certain degree because now I will forever have a constant reminder of when my dad died.
I know what I'm going to say so I'm just going to say it. Me and my dad never had a nuclear family, picturesque father-son relationship. I know that in some way I'm to blame for that, as well he probably think he was to blame for it as well. In some way, I guess death has made me want to feel closer to him, and the fates granted my wish by letting him die on this day. In general we weren't close, but father-son relationships are never as cut and dry as that. Despite our lack of communication we did have a bond that only family could create, that runs deeper than just understanding the surface. He worked. He worked for his family and he did that out of unconditional love for his family. And even though that is a good reason of why we were so distant, it's something that I can understand to my very core.
What killed him? Well other than his lungs failing as well with his heart giving it his all; he died because of smoking. And yes even though it might be crass, even though it might be self serving I am going to turn this post into an anti-smoking post. Me personally I've never smoked, not because the effects of my father, but I was a good little boy and never saw the need for it. And to tell the truth, being the idiot I am I might actually take it up in the future. One day when I might just feel like it, just take it up because I've always seen it as a bit of a fashion statement, an artistic accessory to an artist, a natural must for someone who's creative. But this only goes to show how smoking has been made so natural in society that even the concept of killing yourself with smoke is justified by the idealology of free will. And to tell the truth, I probably wouldn't have the slightest bit of guilt if I lit up a ciggy.
Even if the anti-smoking ads have never "gotten" to you, or those anti smoking lectures never "sunk in", I'm going to travel that same road of futility. I am saying not to smoke ever...but in such a way where you would greatly consider quitting, moreso than ever before.
My dad had club feet due to poor circulation. His feet were permanent purple reaching all the way up to his knees because of it, and they looked like inflated balloons. His hands would puff up from medication, his heart was working at max to compensate for his lung failure and he'd blister from the slightest bump. He would urinate into a gum bucket because he couldn't make it to the bathroom at night; he would just sit and watch TV all day and nothing else, all the time while being on O2.
Who knows, perhaps at the end of all of our lives, we will encounter a similiar situation, medications, deformed body parts, weak bodies...I know it will happen to many of us. But I guess what I'm trying to get at is I wouldn't like to see any of you go through this, just because of smoking. Not even at the end of your life where you think "It's my body, going to end anyways, might as well," there are better ways to go out than that. Yes we all die, but would you prefer to have lived 5+ years in the lifestyle I described above?
The death still hasn't hit me yet. It might at the morgue, or when I see my brother tommorow. I'm not the only person who's lost a dad, but it never makes it any easier to handle. I love my dad and I love you all.
Some might find it a bit humourous, a bit cruel and a bit cosmic jokish but my father just passed away about a hour and half ago. Well within the day that I was born. I suppose I should be grateful to a certain degree because now I will forever have a constant reminder of when my dad died.
I know what I'm going to say so I'm just going to say it. Me and my dad never had a nuclear family, picturesque father-son relationship. I know that in some way I'm to blame for that, as well he probably think he was to blame for it as well. In some way, I guess death has made me want to feel closer to him, and the fates granted my wish by letting him die on this day. In general we weren't close, but father-son relationships are never as cut and dry as that. Despite our lack of communication we did have a bond that only family could create, that runs deeper than just understanding the surface. He worked. He worked for his family and he did that out of unconditional love for his family. And even though that is a good reason of why we were so distant, it's something that I can understand to my very core.
What killed him? Well other than his lungs failing as well with his heart giving it his all; he died because of smoking. And yes even though it might be crass, even though it might be self serving I am going to turn this post into an anti-smoking post. Me personally I've never smoked, not because the effects of my father, but I was a good little boy and never saw the need for it. And to tell the truth, being the idiot I am I might actually take it up in the future. One day when I might just feel like it, just take it up because I've always seen it as a bit of a fashion statement, an artistic accessory to an artist, a natural must for someone who's creative. But this only goes to show how smoking has been made so natural in society that even the concept of killing yourself with smoke is justified by the idealology of free will. And to tell the truth, I probably wouldn't have the slightest bit of guilt if I lit up a ciggy.
Even if the anti-smoking ads have never "gotten" to you, or those anti smoking lectures never "sunk in", I'm going to travel that same road of futility. I am saying not to smoke ever...but in such a way where you would greatly consider quitting, moreso than ever before.
My dad had club feet due to poor circulation. His feet were permanent purple reaching all the way up to his knees because of it, and they looked like inflated balloons. His hands would puff up from medication, his heart was working at max to compensate for his lung failure and he'd blister from the slightest bump. He would urinate into a gum bucket because he couldn't make it to the bathroom at night; he would just sit and watch TV all day and nothing else, all the time while being on O2.
Who knows, perhaps at the end of all of our lives, we will encounter a similiar situation, medications, deformed body parts, weak bodies...I know it will happen to many of us. But I guess what I'm trying to get at is I wouldn't like to see any of you go through this, just because of smoking. Not even at the end of your life where you think "It's my body, going to end anyways, might as well," there are better ways to go out than that. Yes we all die, but would you prefer to have lived 5+ years in the lifestyle I described above?
The death still hasn't hit me yet. It might at the morgue, or when I see my brother tommorow. I'm not the only person who's lost a dad, but it never makes it any easier to handle. I love my dad and I love you all.
1 Comments:
My sincerest condolences to you and your family Stephen.
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